PUDGIE'S, MAN DOWN!!!!!!!

As Jason was getting ready for work this morning, I was awakened by rock music blaring out of Jason's cell phone and it vibrating, shaking the whole headboard and making it BZZZZT. After I put my heart back in my chest, I tried to answer, but I missed it. I didn't recognize the number, so I laid back down. Jason came in to say goodbye about five minutes later, so I told him. He left the room to call, and came back in saying, "Oh crap! Get dressed, someone broke into all the cars on the block."
I got dressed and went outside. Sure enough, Jason's Miata had stuff strewn everywhere, there was an empty cop car on the street. Then I noticed Jason's stereo and radar detector were still in the car. I went over to Liz. Still looked exactly the same as I had left her. I snorted at everyone who has ever said, "Oh, you still can't be too careful! People will steal any kind of car!"
I realized I hadn't seen Jason's tomtom, but didn't want to open the door in case. A neighbor came out across the street (the one who drove me to work), so I ran over to tell her that she was wrong, no one wants anything to do with Liz. Her car was in her garage and safe. The officer came back around and we started talking. As another mark of our small town, both the neighbor and I instantly knew this officer was brand new because neither of us had ever seen him before, but once he said his name we both knew his relatives (he'd been on four months).
We did find Jason's tomtom. They didn't take any of that. They broke in (shutup, the door was unlocked. You're supposed to leave convertibles unlocked. If you don't, they'll get in anyway because they'll slice your top open, so just let them in the door), broke his glove box open, and left all that in there. They took his dimes in his console.
Yes that's what I said.
Similar stories happened all up and down the block. Everyone's things were safe, but they took the change. Someone's wallet was found stripped inside someone else's car. Another neighbor knew her whole family and called her to come over. She had had a one dollar bill in it. That was gone. Nothing else was.
The officer told us that the conveinence store clerk had someone come in around 2:30 this morning and paid for something in about $25 in change. Dumb.ass.
As we all stood in a big circle discussing this, the officer told us that he had already investigated all the cars and took pictures, everyone's driver door had been left open, letting him know which cars had been hit. And everyone looked at me and started laughing. Oh THAT'S why Liz wasn't touched. That door hasn't worked in months, giving everyone an opportunity to stop what they are doing, watch, and laugh as I scramble over my seat to get in and out of my passenger side door.

HA! Liz...screwing owners and criminals alike since 1996.