There's something in the pastry flour...

Is it just me, or are your Dunkin Donuts always packed with the elderly in the middle of the day? Not that there is anything wrong with people meeting with their friends over a casual meal at any age, but they do tend to get awful raucous around here...

I had the day off yesterday (short story - my grandmother had to have the lower portion of her leg amputated, and since my mother watches Kristen and had to be at the hospital, I had no sitter. G-ma's doing fine and is making every doctor and nurse in the vicinity wish they had forgone the degree and just stayed at McDonald's. That's my girl). Shana got out of school at 10:00 because of finals, so K and I went and picked her up. I wanted to see the apartment she is moving into, and we were hungry, so we went for some breakfast.

A man and woman, and their friend, were sitting at a table nearby chatting, whom we paid no mind to. We got our food and sat down and started talking to K and each other and eating. I don't know what they had been discussing, but suddenly a man (whom I'm pretty sure was a stranger) joined in from his table. They were discussing the evils of the world (which can all be summed up by, oh, everything I am). Things were getting heated. After pointing out how ignorant Democrats are, and how we never bother to research ANYTHING and just carry on and look stupid, the woman pointed out how that Nancy Puhloosey is a left-wing nut. I started giggling. K thought I was laughing at her and threw back her head and guffawed. Shana was lost.
They next pointed out how poor a choice Obama is (I was eagerly awaiting mention of the lack of lapel pin or of his middle name), and how the man in the couple would vote for Clinton over Obama, but he doesn't like either one.
Next thing I know, a giant man with a Dumbledore-like beard and a leather jacket came marching over and was telling them all about how he had just spent $45 to top of his tank and it was HALF FULL when he did it. I hear that. That's ridiculous (I didn't get the chance, however, to see if he was driving a gas guzzler). The man from the table over (who was now beside the third man in the original group) started hollering on about how Honda sent him a letter telling him they offer servicing on his vehicle, and how this is obviously a plot to make him drive more (color me intrigued). He them started going on about how they told him driving short distances is harder on your car than driving long distances. The woman suddenly pounded the table and yelled, "Take 'er out on the highway and open 'er up! Cut 'er loose!"
The four men stared at her in astonishment. Then they carried on.
Next, the man standing started telling them all about how he is addicted to nicotine. I'm pretty sure this man was a stranger too. "I just can't quit!" He yelled. The original man said, "Yes! Yes you can!" "No, I just can't do it! Listen to this! My mother, father, sister, and brother all smoked. My mother quit! My brother quit! My mother and brother and father all quit! My sister still smokes."

And next thing I knew, he was telling them all about how life is mind over matter and you just have to say no. Why he can't then quit his cancer sticks...I don't know.

And then there was a tapping on the glass. We turned around and there was another one with giant glasses, eyes, and smile, staring through the glass at Kristen. Shana screamed.



We finally reached the car. Liz likes to pull shit on me when she's PMSing, so my driver's side door is not opening (she'll give in eventually). Shana and I had a slap fight which resulted in me oozing over her to reach the drivers side. We buckled up and a car beeped. Another one did off to the other side. So I started. And then everyone did. "What's going on?" Shana asked. "Shenanigans", I answered. And off we went.
As we turned the corner, the car started beeping again, and someone leaned out of a taxi and started screaming, "DONUTS ON THE HOOD! DONUTS ON THE HOOD!"
I slammed on the brakes, Shana jumped out, grabbed the donuts off of the roof, and we sped away, laughing hysterically.

NEXT TIME: Why Getting A New Car Is No Excuse