Still Not About Christian Bale

Barkley got a complete shavedown yesterday as part of the testing for the groomer my kennel has hired. Kristen has no idea what this strange naked thing is. She points at him constantly and says, "Waaassshhaaaaat? Who IS at? Waaaaassssshhhat?" I tell her, "Barkley." She looks at me, laughs uncertainly as if she thinks she is being tricked, and says, "Wassshhhhhhaaaattttt?"

Some insight into her confusion.

Before









After

So, I'll skip ahead a topic

My next catch up was to be the full review of The Dark Knight, and then I was going to talk about the amazing angle Katherine Heigl can reach with her nose. But it appears that everyone else is talking about it, so I will make my blog Relevant To The World.

She's very pretty. She's Jason's freebie. Jason likes to watch Grey's Anatomy (not that I already have it on or anything, I don't watch such mindless filth I can't lie to you people) and talk about how George must be gay like the actor who plays with him if he can resist THAT. He likes Heigl especially because he can say these things and not only do I not get mad, but I admit that I CAN'T get mad because I'd probably have her too if given the choice.

When Vanity Fair asked about her role in Knocked Up, she replied, “It paints the women as shrews, as humorless and uptight, and it paints the men as goofy, fun-loving guys...It was hard for me to love the movie.” And yeah...it did. But obviously, she's never been pregnant. I thought it was pretty on target. Uptight and shrewish? Yes. An accurate portrayal of the ridiculous, anal, and emotional hormones that pregnancy brings out? Yes.

Her latest controversy is her decision to pull her name out of Emmy contention, stating that, "I did not feel that I was given the material this season to warrant an Emmy consideration and in an effort to maintain the integrity of the academy organization, I withdrew my name from contention...In addition, I did not want to potentially take away an opportunity from an actress who was given such materials." And again...yeah. I see her point (and still...I watch it). But what a slap in the face to the show who got her her start. And to the writers that she was just walking the picket lines (yes, in front of the cameras) for. And what, exactly, is she DOING in this show, and in Knocked Up, if she thinks so little of it? In an interview last year with EW, she states: "In this town, women who don't just snap and say, `OK, yes sir, yes ma'am,' start to get a reputation for being difficult...But within the last five years, I've decided it's not worth it to me to be pushed around so much." But I don't think that's what she's doing. Not allowing oneself to be steamrolled does not equal talking shit about the projects you've willingly participated in, months afterwards.

It has been said that Heigl is looking to get fired from her contract with GA so she can focus on movies full-time. But is this the best way to go about it? If you were a director (or whoever does the casting decisions...I'm not sure), and you had Heigl and another actress of equal talents (lets say, oh, Jessica Alba, whom I have other issues with), and you took a second to review how she talks about the former and current projects she's worked on...would you take her?

Although Shondra Rhimes has dismissed it as just a rumor, I hear that the writers of GA are giving Izzy a brain tumor instead of firing her from the show. It makes me laff.

Let's Start At The Very Beginning

My laptop is here, but I'm just staring at it in the box because I'm afraid to take it out without Jason being here to set it all up. This is a replacement keyboard, that I am not allowed to use as a plate.

This is us at the fair a few weeks ago.
Yes...that is a baby fawn. Licking the inside of my nostril. I honestly didn't see it coming, they are usually so shy that it takes a lot to get them to look at you. I was so excited that it turned around to see me, and then SHABANG!

Usually they just suck on your earlobes.

Yes...the fact that I know so much about baby fawns makes me a hick. What of it?






Kristen would have none of it's tomfoolery. She was afraid of them, sadly. Horses, she LOVES, she freaks out whenever we saw them. She loved the goats and screamed with excitement when one of them tried to eat her stroller tray. Two giant ugly pigs got into a fight and started screaming and she laughed her head off.

Cute, sweet baby deer who will just lay beside you and let you stroke them? Fuhgetaboutit.





In the end, she did respond to force. She barely tolerated them, but she did it.

QUICK, I DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME!

My keyboard is dying. Sometimes, every time I open up a window with any sort of text box or bar in it, the letter xxxxx just keeps typing itself until I manage to get the window shut. Other times, the keys just won't work at all. I have discovered unplugging, plugging, and a bunch of violence will temporarily work. But fear not! I am getting a brand spankin new laptop within the week (it has a TOUCH SCREEN and a DRAWING PAD and probably the missing link as well), so things will be back to normal. In the meantime -
1. I will be posting an actual review of The Dark Knight. I just was too wiggly with joy to do it properly.
2. Thatcoolbroad - what I was trying to say was, "Are you kidding me? I've been having Batman fantasies (both masked and of Bruce Wayne) ever since!" And he won't quit making my crotch twitch.
3. AnotherDay - I will be posting fair and Krissy pictures as well.
4. I shall also be discussing Katherine Hiegl and how the stick up her ass must really make it hurt to sit down.
5. I shall probably also discuss how Jason reading the words "Katherine Heigl" and "up her ass" probably just earned him a Bruce Wayne AND Batman-worthy crotch twitch.
6. Adrienne - squealing "It's Like Playing Charades!" while I am painstakingly searching out, copying, and pasting every.single.letter as I try to IM with you is not being a supportive friend, or as I said last night, "u h o".
7. And so on and so forth such as for our children's future.

Movie Review: Batman: The Dark Knight

Omf-gahholyFUCKmostawesomethingevahtp.

The Piss In My Fruit And White Chocolate Parade

Today I suffered a 40 minute (round trip) car drive to an appointment that turned out to be a giant waste of time. Pissy before this, I was filled with rage unequivical to the situation. Needing gas anyway, I decided it was time to try a Sheetz smoothie. You know - smoooooooo-THIE. I LOVE smoothies. I love anything fruity. So I got some gas, went in, ordered a Wildberry Lemonade smoothie with Fat Burner, and inexplicibly, got some white chocolate Reeses and cookies n cream Hershey Bars (at least they cancelled each other out, right?). Mmm. I was about to embark on a white chocolate fruity trip. My favorite. I walked up to the counter to wait. The food maker (what would Sheetz call them? Sharistas?) smiled at me as he made it. I smiled back. He's been my eye candy since college. Sometimes we make love with our eyes.
Or maybe I'm eye-raping him and he's just being friendly. *turns head thoughtfully*
Fruity smoothie. White chocolate. Man candy. Everything perked back up.
I got and paid for my bitchbusters and started walking out the door. I took a sip of my coveted Sheetz Smoothie and my internal monologue yelled, "OHMFGAH! SO not worth it!!"
And then everyone around me was staring at me. Panicking, I mentally reviewed, and realized, yes, that HAD just come out of my mouth.
I smiled brightly (Luckily, Sharisto was not in sight, so his ego was not crushed forever) and walked away quickly, sipping on my smoothie (which, really, wasn't bad, but too watery). The embarrassment mixed with the melted candy (seriously, five minutes down the road and both candy and whipped cream was melted - it's THAT hot here) put me back into my bad mood. And then as I got to the bottom of my smoothie, there was this BLACK POWDER CAKING THE BOTTOM. MY FAT BURNER. DAMN GOODFORNOTHINGBUTEYECANDY SHARISTO!

!!




Did anyone else have a teacher that had you blend a bowl of high in iron cereal and then run a magnet over it to watch the iron flakes come out? I liked that experiment. I was trying to tell Shana about it earlier.

I will NEVER not laugh at this. Not even thinking about it.

This links to an audio clip and is NSFW, Ks, or anyone churchy.

This is the funniest thing ever. I can't stop laughing. I was rocking back and forth in my chair crying. I made Jason came down and we were holding each other up snorting (it didn't help that it reads word for word like the breakup letter from Jason's ex).

I expect assless chaps and cat-o-nines from everyone!

Leather IS the traditional third year anniversary present, after all!

Yes...it was three years today that Jason and I took the plunge (and two years today that we took that trip to celebrate that messed my damn birth control all up).

Hmm...what else can I come up with for dates for today?
We began dating 6 years ago.
Got engaged 5 years ago.
Got married 3 years ago.
So are we corny cheesy saps or WHAT?

PICTURES!

This one definitely gets a "Is This Really My Life" label

Yesterday, I learned that it is NOT always better to go commando. Luckily, the situation happened within my least favorite week of the month, so I was covered.

My jeans I wore to work yesterday had a big hole in the ass. Right by the pocket. No one told me. Shana finally pointed it out to me. My hot pink panties were merrily showing through.

But HEY...at least I wasn't naked underneath my holy jeans.