Just don't ask how many times she jammed the paper shredder

I have a temp job as an administrative wench, being split between a marketing and quality department. There is a possibility of being hired, which I am very excited about, and am trying my hardest to prove myself indispensable. They will, at least, recognize that I am good for entertainment value.

Shortly after 7 am, my boss walked into the room where I was scan archiving and began speaking to me. In German. I gave him my best, "Sir, I have been awake since 5 AM. See that pot of coffee? Hey - look at that. I made coffee. For all of you. Please keep me and put my ass through MBA school. But anyway. That coffee? Noyt done yet. And you are speaking to me in a foreign language" look.
By the way - that is a LOT of things to convey in a single look for someone awake since 5 AM but no coffee. But I did it.
He said, "Come on, you went to *** high school! They teach you German there!"
"Yes, but I didn't take it," I said.
Man started talking at me in Spanish.

Now, I did take four years of Spanish, including Spanish AP, and know enough to be able to survive in a Spanish speaking country if the people are nice and speak slowly and simply. But, again, this was 6:50 in the morning and I had no coffee. Wanting to appear well-rounded, educated, and impressive, however, I panicked and yelled, "ME GUSTA TE OMBLIGO!!!"
He stared at me.
I stared back.
He cracked up and walked away.




For those puzzled - yes, that does indeed mean, "I like your belly button."

I hate my life.