I really, honestly, shit you not.

THURSDAY!
Not SUCH a bad day. I did manage to get my foot tangled in my phone cord, which sent me flying when I tried to walk away from my desk, sending my phone into meellions of pieces and everyone flying over to find my dumb ass lying on the floor.

FRIDAY
Late for work. Doors up front all locked again, had to walk all over fucking building to get in.
Started coffee. Walked to desk. Boss came over and asked what happened. I looked out and I had somehow made the coffee grinder holder shoot out and grinds had exploded all over the hallway. No really, I shit you not.
After work, I had to run through midcity (on a Friday) to the temp office to turn my hours in (because I still don't have an ACTUAL JOB. They haven't hired me yet, and with the punctuality I had this week, I'm probably looking REAL impressive) and thought about getting a Wendy's Cookie Dough Frosty. Have you TRIED those???? Oh my god. My new favorite treat EVER. So I drove and drove, realllllly starting to crave one. I deserved one, after the week I had. I pulled up to the drive through window. Oh god I wanted one so bad. I ordered one and then realized I DIDN'T HAVE MY CARD WITH ME.
WHAT THE FREAK, KARMA???? I HAVE MY PERIOD!!!! Cut me some...FRIGGEN slack!!

So you know what? I drove home, got my card, drove to the pizza place, and got a six pack. Bottom fucking up, baby.

PS - you have no idea how much concentration and effort I had to put into writing this.