Oh, lovely, Shana.

Now all my ad spaces are trying to get the readers help for their yeast infections.

An update on the tape recorder story:
She still does not understand. I'm not sure how she thinks it works, as the last thing she said to me about it (while I was having a hysterical, tears in my eyes, breakdown, at Kristen's birthday party), "But it was saying ITALIC! And BOLD! And I'M A NEW TYPEWRITTER! WHY WOULD IT TELL YOU THAT??? WHY WOULD IT SAY THAT TO YOU???"
"Shana, do you think it was typing things...to me??" I said.
"I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE!!!" She screamed.

Yet another Shana story

I KNOW, right? I should just turn this into a Shana blog. But she's a goldmine of material. Be forewarned, this story deals with the unpleasantness that comes with being female.

I've told you all about the incessant lady itch, yes? Well, she finally went to get it taken care of. She had an infection. The doctor scolded her on her skinny jeans, and informed her that tight pants can cause those.* She was chagrined, she loves skinny jeans. I told her about how tight underpants can cause fertility issues in men. She talked about emo kids and how they must have grumpy crotches a lot. Maybe they were, in fact, emo because they had grumpy crotches. She made this statement as I was leaning out the car window picking up fast food, causing me to burst into hysterical, high-pitched bales of laughter, right in the poor girl's face. I'm sorry about that.
Back at her house, we were playing girly video games (Hey DJ!)/watching American Idol. Shana is in love with Adam. Love love. We were watching him, and Shana yelled, "Look at him! I bet he gets killer yeast infections!!
Oh wait..."


* She was also going to wear her shirt that said "I'm Fresh".

Why I Love My Sister

I had my wisdom teeth done Wednesday. I will discuss that later. The important thing is this conversation I just had over IM with Shana.

stacyandjason212@yahoo.com says:
Ith hath more teabath thuffed in me mouf

goodness, that one almost got me. says:
vhat you say

stacyandjason212@yahoo.com says:
TEABAGTH!!! IN ME MOUF!!!

goodness, that one almost got me. says:
you have a teabag in your mouth?

stacyandjason212@yahoo.com says:
yes
one on each side

goodness, that one almost got me. says:
vhy
chipmunkth.

stacyandjason212@yahoo.com says:
Jason says it's supposed to help with clotting, and they do make me mouf feel better

goodness, that one almost got me. says:
do you looka' fool?

stacyandjason212@yahoo.com says:
oh hellz yes

goodness, that one almost got me. says:
are the tags hanging out? because that would be really funny.

stacyandjason212@yahoo.com says:
especially since I also have my head sock on
YES, YES THEY ARE

goodness, that one almost got me. says:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAA
I lub you.

stacyandjason212@yahoo.com says:
stop, you're making me giggle, making me squeeze my mouth, making tea squirt out

goodness, that one almost got me. says:
LMAO I'M IMAGINING

stacyandjason212@yahoo.com says:
THOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP

goodness, that one almost got me. says:
I'M IMAGINING A TEA CUP BESIDE YOU AND IT'S SQUIRTING INTO THE CUP

stacyandjason212@yahoo.com says:
I am blocking you

goodness, that one almost got me. says:
I am laughing to myself.
SIIIIISHER

stacyandjason212@yahoo.com says:
NO!!

goodness, that one almost got me. says:
it's okay, I have settled

stacyandjason212@yahoo.com says:
ohhhh
I may have to blog of this moment

goodness, that one almost got me. says:
it was a good moment, in my head at least

stacyandjason212@yahoo.com says:
it was all around
except on my chin

The stupid ones in my life.

Last night, I opened my back door and called for Barkley and Caden. They wouldn't come. Some clapping and obscenities later, I could hear their collars jingling, but they still wouldn't come. I wimpily snuck around to the side yard, where it was dark and I couldn't' see them. I could still hear them jingling around. I thought perhaps the basement door had blown open, so I went in the house, went down to the basement, and opened the stair door. No dogs. I went to the front porch - they weren't running around in the street, and I couldn't hear any old ladies shrieking. I still heard them. I went back inside, to find Jason staring at me inquisitively. I told him what was going on, and he went outside to investigate. The back gate had blown open, and he found them running along the fence in the neighbors' yard, panicking and frantically trying to figure out how to get back in, as it was dark and they apparently forgot that the open gate was around the corner.

(PS - Only my dogs would have a break for freedom and spend it trying to get back in. It's what they do. When they do get out and a neighbor happens upon them, they spend their time hopping excitedly at them, and then immediately run up on our porch and continue hopping, waiting for the neighbor to ring the doorbell for them so I will let them in and call them retarts and cow udders and whatever else flies out of my crazy mouth (after I shut the door and the neighbor goes away). It's true)

ALSO! Shana found a used tape from my old typewriter. I had used all the reel up, so you could see the outline of everything I had written on it. Apparently, Shana found it, took all the tape out of it, and spent three hours reading it all. She was very, VERY confused. She confronted me with it, wondering what it was and how it happened, and I seized the day and convinced her that, "Duh, I had a tape recorder when we were little! Remember? They record the converstions, how else would they know to play it back!! Loser!!"
And now, up until she reads this blog post, she believes that there are little typewriters in tape recorders, physically typing everything that is spoken into them for playback value.

She's a stubborn one.

We got Liz inspected. It had been two months since we had been even able to drive her, so we were very excited to get everything fixed. New tires, driver's side DOOR!!, new side mirror, new brakes, new belts, etc.
$487 later, we were steadfastly ignoring how much it cost to be excited about having a working car. We opened the doors, yelled, "HEEYYYYY!" in celebration, and drove home. We got home, turned off the car, and














the driver's side door won't open.