Friday, January 9, 2009

Proof that baking in an insane asylum for nine months bodes no good.

We went to the mall. I was looking around for bras. Kristen was on her best behavior, and trying very hard. As most of you know, this is very hard for toddlers, especially a kid of mine. I could see the crazy just about leaking out her ears. She was looking around and I could see her dying to burst.
I was talking to one of the salespeople as she started shaking. I could practically hear whistles and sirens blowing.
Suddenly, in her little girly, high pitched, squeally voice, she threw her arms in the air and hooted, "BOOOOOOOBS!!!"
Having opened the bottle, she couldn't stop and mouth diarrhea hit. She screamed, "BUTT!!! 'GINAHHH!!! PeeeeewwwwwPPPPPPPPPPPP-PUH!!"
And then she fell over. Ate carpet right there.

NTS: Ask pedi about prevalence age of Tourette's at next checkup.

2 comments:

MrsD said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nicole said...

i know i shouldn't laugh, and yet...HA...i can't...HA...help it!

HA HA HA HA! freaking funny. you know you love it. except for that whole embarassing you in the store thing.

eh, i'm already stocking up on jeans and tights and leggings to put under hazel's dresses because i have a sneaking suspicion she'll be the girl in front of the church for the children's sermon with her knees up to her chest, legs wide open, underwear all shining for the world to see.

what are kids for if they don't embarass you...on the bright side in about 14 years we'll get to embarass the hell outta them too! bring on the curlers and bedroom slippers. soccer moms be damned!