I'm feeling much better now

Except for this image I now have stuck in my head.

I'm getting around much better, although I can't go very fast, so I just shuffle along slowly while pumping my arms as if I am running in slo-mo.

Jason tells me I was carrying on about the ceiling moving after they slipped me the mickey. I think he's lying.

My Sister Taught Herself How To Do Everything With Her Feet

She did this because she's afraid she'll someday lose her hands and she wants to be prepared.

I used to think "silly, paranoid, hypochondriac fool", but now that there is a HOLE IN MY ASS and I can't bend, I think "Brilliant!".

She also has to count her fingers and toes every night before bed to make sure she still has ten of each, but even through my drug-induced haze I ain't that crazy. But I've come a little closer to understanding her.

Happy Boxing Day, Eh?

All right, Boxing day was yesterday. What do you want from me?

Christmas was good. Kristen got very spoiled. She also got her two front teeth...on Christmas morning. I would have been more excited if she hadn't been working on them for two nights straight, screaming.

Random Thought: If I never hear the phrases "C! C! The CAT is ORange!" and "THree PURPLE TRIangles!" again, I will die smiling.

The Other Day Some Guy Propositioned Me...

He wanted his dog to sleep with my dog.

*pausing to allow you to reflect on the possible ways this could go*

But Barkley's not equipped for that.

I went to my work party Wednesday night. It was fun. I told my coworkers about Pete and my sister's nipple story, but I was drunk so that doesn't count.
But that's okay anyway, as she has just told me that her teachers tell Shana stories at their family reunions.

I got switched to Cymbalta yesterday after a fight with the nurse. I threw up all day. But that might be a lingering hangover.

And Pete and I are breaking up January 4th. This will lead to one to two weeks off work.

For an ass bubble.

All right, WTF?

I pour my HEART and SOUL out and the Google Bot comes up with "Girls Love Gay" and "Hot Asian Wife!" as the best ads for this blog???????????????