Analysis Of A Mad Black Woman

Can I call her that, being that I am extremely white? Someone please advise me so I know whether or not to call Tyra Banks that in public, as I would like to prevent an extreme ass beating.

But srsly people. This woman is crazy. Bat shit crazy. I thought this as it is every time I watch ANTM. Her and her "I have in my hand... one more picture. This picture...is of one of the two girls standing in front of me. This picture...will be of one of you. The girl whose picture I do not have must go home. THIS MEANS that the girl whose picture I do have...is still in the running to becomeAmericasNextTopModel." And ON and ON and ON until the entire at home audience and every single bimbo model in the room is screaming in their heads YES YES! WE'VE FIGURED THAT PART OUT!

And then, I found this on YouTube, a parody of this (if you must, fast forward to 2:21, the first part is just a build up). And I thought..."hahaha...crazy bitch".

But THEN...someone showed me the next clip. And I thought, "This isn't real. This is an excellently pasted together fake thing, like that Tyra/Britney thing I saw before."
Sadly...it's not. It's real. I'm sorry the video and audio aren't in sync.

I'm not really sure where to begin. All I can say is this:
1 - I'm not sure I would want the BIGGEST...BEAUTY SECRET EVARR! (EVARR) from someone who is looking like that.
2 - I'm pretty sure everyone got that "Eye And Anything Cream" means "EYE and AnyTHING" from the title. But we're all accustomed to her overredundantness.
3 - w. t. f.

Are You Ready?

BTW - I highy recommend the parody link at the bottom of the screen.

EDIT: OH MY GOD. SHE'S A SQUATTER. ANYONE WHO KNOWS ME KNOWS HOW MUCH I HATE HATE HATE SQUATTERS. I WAS DESTINED TO HATE HER.

Here, stripper. Watch and be edumacated.

I've found the video for the infamous Heart song (which shall be forever more called AIWDIMLTO because that is one long.ass.song title).
Overall, I must say I was disappointed by the lack of 80's cheese. Although the scene where he discovers that he was used for his sperm makes up for it all.
Then again, so does watching this.

EDIT: Exactly eleven months ago today I gave birth. Eleven. HOW did that happen??

And you really do say, "Ooohhhhhhhmmmmmmm"

I started yoga lessons on Tuesday. It is fantastic, it is amazing what one hour of it will do for your mind. I can't wait until the next class. I think I am also going to start up aerobics. I'm also eating much healthier. While I am sew not going to begin to push the VITAMINS AND EXERCISE! route of PPD cures, it is helping. So is finally getting on the right dosage of AD and getting myself on track to take it every day. I'm still somewhat considering a therapist but I feel like I'm in a really good state at this point.

There was a point in the class where the instructor (who is as stereotypical as they come, yoga-instructor wise) told us all, as we were sitting on our mats, to make sure we were using all of our sit muscles and to spread them out. She then proceeded to grab an asscheek in each hand and scootch around, carefully spreading her ass out to take up more of the mat. Mature twelve year olds that we all are, every one of us (and there were about fifteen in the class) burst into hysterical giggles. The instructor calmly carried on as if she couldn't hear a thing. We all guiltily looked around and made the best attempt possible to solemnly spread our asscheeks out while moving with our breath and staying calm.

We failed miserably.

To Be Fair To Shana...

I was in the car once on a road trip. We stopped at McDonalds. I got two hash browns. I was happily munching when I looked down and THE WORLD NO LONGER MADE SENSE. My hash brown had REFILLED ITSELF. It was WHOLE AGAIN. I began choking on my hash brown in shock, with such vigor that the driver frantically pulled off the road.

Then I looked in my other hand. That hand contained the hash brown I had been eating. I hadn't started on the other one yet.

Shananana And The Magical Vaginanana

I was at my mothers the other day picking up my daughter. Shana came bursting in the door.

"STACY! GUESS WHAT! MY VAGINA!"

"..."

"My vagina is MAGIC!"

"Oh God, not the damn TEETH again."

"It's a real thing! But that's not what this is about! Money comes out!"

"..."

"So me and Sara we were like in class talking and dude and like we were talking and did you bring my cell phone yet? and then dude like lesbian college I'm so afraid they won't let me in and like so I stood up and there was THIS!"
*produces quarter*
"And Sara was like DUDE! and I was like DUDE! and I thought it came out of my VAGINA!"

nft.

EDIT: I suppose you want to know the story behind the title. When Shana was in kindergarten, she was practicing writing her name and panicked because she forgot how many 'na's went in her name, so she just made a whole bunch for safety's sake. Mom got her paper and it was like her brain had been skipping, the na's ran straight off the page.

EDIT: It is my birthday.